Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dear Jimmer....

Dear Jimmer,

I find myself looking forward to the next milestone you'll hit. When you'll sit up alone, when you'll crawl, walk, say "Mama", be potty trained, when you're hair will grow out, and when we will give you a brother or sister. But each time you've hit a milestone, I find myself looking back and remembering those days that I didn't fully embrace because I was too busy looking ahead. I started this blog to remember these times in our lives that pass so quickly, so that I wouldn't forget the details of how rich and amazing you've made our lives. You're just 5 months old and there are already so many things that I miss and things I know I will miss all too soon. I still look forward to what lies ahead, but I've decided to be more present in what you're doing right now. I admit I am an over planner. We live in a world of "somedays" but I want to remember today with you.

*Your toothless gummy smile that takes over your whole face
*The way your hand reaches up for my face while I feed you at night
*How proud you are when we stand you up and you stomp your feet
*Your hairy ears
*Your rolls
*How you sleep with your bum straight up in the air
*When you nuzzle your face into my neck and fall asleep
*The machine gun noise you recently started making
*How your eyes cross when you have a toy in your hands
*You blowing rasberries at me
*Your sweet giggle
*You sitting on Daddys lap watching the games
*Your tiny feet and shoes
*Smiling in your crib when you wake up
*Listening to your talk to yourself on the baby monitor
*Watching you discover things
*Feeding you cereal
*You needing me in the middle of the night
*Watching your eyes follow me wherever I go
*Cradle holding you
*Your baby tub
*You tiny fingers
*putting Johnsons Bed Time lotion on your
*How you suck in your lower lip
*Breastfeeding/Pumping - this one will probably gross you out when you're old enough to read this...but there's something about being completely responsible for your meals and nutrition and whether or not you grow that is so rewarding for me. I will miss not being that sole source for you.

There are so many more.....but I just wanted you to remember how much I appreciate every stage and every day with you. That you have made me realize a whole new level of what it means to love and that I am so honored to be your Mommy. Someday when you're older and you think I'm annoying and terrible and your enemy, I hope you can look back on some of these blogs and realize that nobody will ever love you quite like I do, and that my life is forever changed (also....I'm cool...I will always be cool...and you will not convince me otherwise).

 I can't wait to pick you up today and just be around you and watch you. My favorite time with you is the hour right after I pick you up from daycare....we play and laugh and you show off all your new tricks for me...then I rock you to sleep for a quick nap. Some days I rock you a half hour after you've fallen asleep and just look at you...studying your face and listening to you breathe. I will never be able to thank God enough for you.Your Daddy just sent me these pictures of you today and my eyes just filled with the happiest're growing so fast and are so handsome. I love you.

The two loves of my life

My sweet boy

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