Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Not as expected...Birth Story Part III

They first wheeled me in without Nick to prep for surgery. I was shaking uncontrollably before they gave me any drugs. I was that terrified. I hated being away from Nick for those 10 minutes. They could sense my fear and tried chit chatting with me about names, where I was from etc. To be honest I just wanted it to be quiet. The room was so bright and so cold. I could hear things going on but it was like I was having an out of body experience. If I looked straight up I could see my reflection in the lamp/light and immediately decided I would be looking to the side the entire time. I did not want to see any of this. I prayed one last time and Nick finally came in. He sat next to me and put his hand on my face (because my arms were strapped down...AWESOME!). They numbed me and I suppose they got started. They didn't say when they started which I appreciated! After a few minutes I could feel the pressure and my fear peaked. My teeth were chattering like a cartoon character and I felt like I was going to be sick or worse black out. I remember telling Nick "I think I'm going to pass out".  I stared into his eyes the whole time and took the biggest deep breaths of my life to get throuh those 15 minutes. He was such an amazing support talking me through it and smiling like there was nothign to be nervous about. At one point I remember looking at the wall and saying to myself "This will be our only child." And I meant that in that moment. I thought that if I get through this and God blessed us with a healthy baby, that would be it (of course this is no longer the case).
Then, at least for a few minutes, all my fear vanished when I heard "8:46 pm we have a boy!" I remember feeling like crying but not being able to. I had a second of disappointment not being able to see him right away but Nick went over immediately. I heard Nick say "Hi buddy" followed by "Is that going to go away!?!?" LOL! can you imagine laying on a table behind a blue sheet and hearing that before seeing your son!?!? Turns out, my pelvis wasn't working for him and he was lodged in there pretty good. He wasn't coming out that way. So his head was swollen on one side from trying to go down that way for so long. By the time we got back to the room that was already gone. Minutes later Nick brought him over to me. I kissed his perfect lips and  nose and stared in amazement at how much he looked like his Daddy. I was pretty out of it but for that minute I was so present. His eyes were wide open and he was looking right at me. Best moment of my life.
Jimmer Jack Larson was born on 11/7/11 weighing in at 7 lbs 7 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. Nick and I met playing basketball and picked the name Jimmer after Mr 2011 Basketball Jimmer Fredette who we loved watching last year in the NCAA tournament. His middle name is after Nicks Grandpa Jack.
Nick and Jimmer went into the recovery room while I laid there waiting for them to fix me up. These 20 or so minutes were the worst for me. I wanted to hold our baby and be with them in the other room so badly. Not to mention my teeth were still chattering like crazy and I could feel a lot of pressure. The anesthesiologist finally gave me some medicine to calm down the chattering because it was that bad. They finally wheeled me into the recovery room where our perfect baby boy was waiting. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. It's turely the greatest miracle in life. Looking at this person that is part of you and part of the person you love, and knowing they just spent the last 9 months in your belly is such an overwhelming feeling. I was pretty out of it and it was CRAZY to watch the nurses move my noodle legs that I had NO control over. Jimmer was perfectly healthy. He was the spitting image of his father except he has my long toes:) He had a head full of dark hair which we were not expecting as both Nick and I were blondies. My hair was white when I was born. Finally about an hour and a half after his arrival Nick held Jimmer and walked next to my bed being wheeled back to the room where my family was waiting.
Nick had the proudest look on his face. I was still pretty drugged up but I remember that look on his face and will never forget it. I was so happy I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. I was so thankful and had this moment of extreme thankfulness for my parents. It's like I had this new respect for them almost immediately. Here are some photos of the moments after he was born:

And here are a few short videos just after he was born:

So there you have it. NOTHING like I planned, and although I was initially disappointed, I sit here staring at Jimmer Jack and realize I could care less how he got here. Come to find out it took 2 doctors to get him out because he was so lodged in my abdominals! I'm really glad they didn't say anything out loud about not being able to get him out! He's healthy and happy and everything turned out like it should. We were later told we had the best on call  for C-sections who is known for his small and straight incisions:) Great news! Being a Mom is the most important job I have ever had. And it's also the most difficult and most rewarding. I'm up every 3 hours, my new perfume is baby spit up, I'm lucky to get a shower every other day, I am a feeding tube, and it's impossible to keep the house cleaned. But he's perfect. He smiles when he's falling asleep, he loves being cuddled and patted, he's incredibly strong, and I love his little feet.  I can't wait to see how he changes and grows and if he continues to be a mini Nick. My life is forever changed. Here are some other pictures of his first few days of life :)

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